Disaster Barbie Strikes Again
Some journalists are (literally) clowns
A bromance that will echo through the ages.
Democrats alarmed when voters take their nonsense seriously.
Actual clown blasts Trump in Washington Post op-ed.
Friends don’t let friends experiment with soccer.
It’s Friday, July 11, 2025
Happy Birthday to George W. Bush, our second-greatest living president and a fantastic painter in his own right. He's not as popular among certain Republicans these days, but consider the competition after Donald Trump: a trailer-park sleaze bag "married" to a demon queen, a world-historic narcissist whose own obnoxious wife won't stop trashing him in public, and a dementia-addled Irish punk who abandoned his family to run for president.
Dubya, who left office in 2009, turned 79 this week, which makes him several years younger than Joe Biden, who attempted to serve until 2029. He will always be remembered for the time he laced a four-seam heater down the middle of the plate to open Game Three of the World Series in New York City after 9/11. Bush's successor, failed president Barack Obama, was historically bad at throwing.
Meanwhile, our greatest living president is enjoying what is arguably the most epic bromance in the history of mankind. Benjamin Netanyahu expressed his gratitude to Trump for helping him demolish Iran's nuclear program by nominating the president for a Nobel Peace Prize. In a just world, he'd be the prohibitive favorite, but alas. Netanyahu also gave Trump one of the most badass gifts we've ever seen: a Hebrew scroll shaped like a B-2 bomber that was crafted out of an Iranian missile fragment. "In appreciation for the big, beautiful bombs of Midnight Hammer," Netanyahu had inscribed on the accompanying plaque, referring to the successful U.S. military campaign involving B-2 bombers and 30,000-pound "bunker buster" bombs.
Churchill and FDR walked (and rolled) so that these bros could strut together on the world stage after crushing the enemies of civilization. Just a couple of dudes bro-ing out to the max. Meanwhile, Democrats are still struggling to figure out how to appeal to male voters. Pete Buttigieg, who is probably going to run for president in 2028, has grown a beard and recently started following the UFC account on social media. Maybe that will help, but he's also going to have to improve his favorability with black voters. After routinely polling at zero percent among that crucial demographic during the 2020 primary, Buttigieg's support among black voters remains at zero percent, according to a recent poll. Good luck, weirdo!
Related: Will Stancil, a former Democratic candidate in Minnesota, went on local news in his home state to express concerns that Elon Musk's AI program, Grok, was trying to rape him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Democrats: Who could have guessed that repeatedly telling voters their political opponents are bloodthirsty Nazis intent on destroying democracy would turn out badly for Democratic politicians? Axios reports that elected Democrats are struggling to contain the growing sense of "fear and despair and anger" among liberal voters who want them to "fight harder" to save the country from Orange Hitler, even if that means laying down their lives for the cause. One lawmaker said outraged voters have insisted that Democrats should "be willing to get shot" when facing off against ICE agents attempting to enforce the law.
"Our own base is telling us that what we're doing is not good enough ... [that] there needs to be blood to grab the attention of the press and the public," the Democrat said. Another member of Congress told Axios their constituents have urged Democrats to prepare for "violence" to "protect our democracy" because "civility isn't working." In fairness to these liberal cranks, Democrats are constantly warning that people will die and the planet will burn and democracy as we know it will be over if Republicans win elections. But they rarely act as if they really believe that nonsense, because they clearly don't. It's just a bunch of bullshit they say because they can't exactly run on being the party of obnoxious scolds who want to make your daily life more annoying.
Case in point: Citywide ordinances that require coffee shops to "ask if you want a lid on your beverage," presumably to make you feel guilty about killing the environment or something.
The voters are speaking: An armed mob of anti-Trump hooligans was arrested and charged with attempted murder after shooting up an ICE detention center near Dallas over the weekend.
Democrats aren't listening: Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett (D., Texas), whose district is just down the road from where the shooting took place, said this week that "violence doesn't come from Democrats." (Fact check: bullshit.) She went on to claim, even more absurdly, that the individuals who tried to assassinate Trump in 2024 were MAGA Republicans. "These were Trump supporters, right?" Crockett said. (Fact check: at least one of the failed assassins, Ryan Wesley Routh, appears to have been radicalized by Obama bro Ben Rhodes and other MSNBC talking heads.)
On message: Remember the Lincoln Project? They're terrible at winning elections, but they certainly know what deranged liberal voters want to hear. The disgraced super PAC's latest video ad fantasizes about sending evil Republicans to concentration camps.
Disaster Barbie strikes again: The ABC News anchor was widely mocked earlier this year for using a clothespin on his yellow fire safety jacket to achieve a more flattering contour on his chiseled physique while reporting on the deadly California wildfires. Muir appears to have been busted once again while reporting on the tragic flooding in Texas. Video analysis from Megyn Kelly found damning evidence that Muir used a clothespin to make his signature tight black T-shirt even tighter to enhance his muscled frame, which he maintains by spending hours at Equinox, the luxury gym chain and gay-friendly hotspot.
Media circus: We're actually kind of jealous the Washington Post beat us to this op-ed by Tim Cunningham, the president of Clowns Without Borders, a nonprofit that "performs clown shows for communities facing hardship."
The sad clown laments that the "joyful work" of his noble profession has been "diminished into an insult." Trump, who is often the target of these insults, does not deserve the title, the clown argues. "Let’s find a better metaphor to despise and depose fascism."
We can't help but feel that the Post is ripping off a certain Washington Free Beacon guest column from 2020.
We will never apologize for exposing the truth: Journalists and editors at the New York Times have spent the last few days frantically justifying and apologizing for the publication’s decision to report information that reflects poorly on a Democratic candidate. The Times revealed last week that New York City mayoral nominee Zohran Mamdani had falsely identified as "Black or African American" on his application to Columbia.
The Gray Lady's handwringing was instantly overshadowed by a bombshell Free Beacon report on Mamdani's deplorable affection for the so-called sport of soccer, a revelation even more alarming than his love of communism and Hamas. Soccer is often a "gateway drug" that poisons the minds of impressionable teens, causing them to experiment with other evil enterprises. We do not apologize for bringing this information to the public's attention.
This is your brain on soccer: The New York Post reports that a "mysterious man in a black cat suit has been menacing residents of a small British town, leaping from behind trees and graves and yelling 'meow.'" Abbie Gilbert, a resident of the Liverpool suburb where the sightings have occurred, said the so-called Pantherman did not seem "dangerous, just a bit strange." British people are notoriously obsessed with soccer, which they insist on calling "football."
From the mailbag: We value your feedback and are always open to constructive criticism. This week, a reader from California writes:
I find Stiles really offensive and have for a while; when I looked at his "newsletter" this morning I was nonplussed by the number of women in bathing suits etc pics. What earthly reason does your organization, which does serious deep dive articles and investigations, have to do or need with a puerile and unfunny writer who uses his professional role either to prove his "superior masculinity" or to compensate for a sense of personal and sexual inferiority?
Tough, but fair.
Email: stiles@freebeacon.com
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I look forward to the Stiles Section weekly. Your style of humor is well applied in this world of lunatic utterances from left of center. It almost seems like Layupville these days with the avalanche of very crazy far Left speakers stepping up. Makes LilJoey smile.
It is tough to be 100% right in an Op-ed column. But you come pretty close. Here is where you are completely off-base and wrong. Dubya Bush is not and never was a great president. I am a life-long conservative, so don't think your comments have been infiltrated by a left-wing zealot. He was, and is, part of the swamp. In fact, he is a swamp rat. All the Bush's are. That is why they are best buds with Obama, Clinton, etc. A real patriot and conservative would have nothing to do with two of the most corrupt president's in U.S. history.